Thermometer or Thermostat? Which one are you?
Are you, metaphorically, a thermometer or thermostat? When the temperature around you rises, do you rise with it? Similarly, when the temperature around you falls, do you fall with it? In other words, are you affected by your surroundings to such an extent that if the circumstances around you change, you mirror or are affected by that change, be it better or worse? Or, are you are in control of your emotions, regardless of external circumstances?
There is no getting away from the fact that we are all affected to some extent by our surroundings. However, with what and by how much, differs for us all. Do we have a choice?
We all have basic human needs. Our need for connection is one of the essentials. Connection or love or being liked or feeling wanted. We all need to feel connection be it with family, friends or work colleagues.
If someone makes a hurtful remark, do we immediately react from a position of hurt? Alternatively, do we see that as something belonging to that person and therefore, make no claim on it, other than to wonder what is happening for that person? Are we clear in our minds of our own self-worth, not requiring external approval?
A job goes wrong at work and colleagues are looking for someone to blame. Do we automatically feel guilty because it must be our fault because it’s always our fault? Or do we say,’ if that mistake is my error then I will do everything I can to put it right and learn for next time’? Then learn for next time and let it go?
Should a boyfriend not call when they said they would, do we assume that they don’t care? Assume that they don’t like us as much as they did yesterday? Or do we think they must be running late or got held up or doing overtime and call them to make sure they are ok?
There are so many ways to interpret external behaviour. How we choose to think about it or how we choose to behave towards it is completely our choice. We have options. But is it that easy? Well, it depends how you look at it?
If we think ‘external circumstances will always affect us’ or ‘we will always react that way because it’s just who we are’, then that is who we will always be, simple. You will always carry those feelings for as long as you choose. If you don’t want to worry about what people feel and think about you – then don’t, simple. Put an end to it. Decide. Be yourself and not what others expect you to be.
As a Life Coach, I will facilitate change by enabling you to discover the changes you want to make and gain the confidence you want to gain. Not by long term therapy but by a short term process of conversation, a few really good exercises that will enable you to see more clearly and by really great use of NLP which is amazing for helping the mind to associate in a really beneficial way.
Give me a call for a free initial consultation on 07884 970 502. Change isn’t hard work, it can be enlightening and fun.